I am Different

Are you a product of your upbringing? Do your values mirror those of your parents? If you lived in a different place, even a different neighborhood, do you think you would have been any different?

When I was growing up, a southern Democrat was a conservative, just too damned stubborn to call himself a Republican. Some of them were still holding it against Lincoln, so there's no way they'd belong to the same party. The adults who were around when I was growing up were that way. They wouldn't tell you, heck no! Saying who you voted for was something like the 11th Commandment. "Thou shalt not say who got your vote!" But they didn't have to. Everything they said before and after the election told you all you needed to know. I have fluttered from one back to the other until I figured there wasn't a whole of difference between them. I am a moderate, so in that regard I guess I buck my upbringing.

I'm religious, to a point. I'm no bible thumper and rarely get into discussions on the subject. But I know what I think and I believe and trust in God.  The folks I grew up around, on the other hand, would always tell you very quickly how wrong you were and that you were going to "burn in hell?" Oh, and they've been saying since I was old enough to go to church that Jesus is coming back tomorrow, and as I approach 60 I think I've finally figured out that they don't know any more than I do. But I am totally different in that regard now, because I'm... Catholic! I know several people who must be spinning in the graves to hear me say that.

There is no getting around the fact that I was brought up poor. Heck, a lot of folks in and around Loudon shared that distinction with me. I can remember not eating, getting one pair of shoes a year and more than a few bare Christmases. Now, I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but my kids didn't have to worry about that kind of stuff. It wasn't my parents fault. They played the cards they were dealt. But sometimes I wonder if I had stayed in Loudon if I would be able to say that I did better. I love that little one horse town, but of all the things I left behind, the preconceived notion held by me and everyone around me about how I would turn out was one that I'm glad I did.

So, as far as how things turned out, I would have to say I'm almost totally different. However, one thing that I have not lost, and never will, is the pride and love I have for that place and the people who touched my life. And in some ways, that cancels all the changes in me.