My Empty Nest

Sunday we will load up Sarah’s stuff and drive her off to college. She is so excited, and a little scared, about it. She has been so active the past couple of months, as if she’s trying to do as many things in as she possibly can before going away.

I’m proud of her and excited for her. Her brothers and sister have all done well and I have no doubt she will too. A few years ago, she seemed to have settled on becoming an orthodontist, but then last year she started talking about being an editor for some kind of magazine and then over the past 6 months or so she talks about being a teacher. I know she might change her mind yet again before she’s through, but I’m equally sure she will do well at whatever she finally ends up doing.

I, on the other hand, will have to make some adjustments. After straight 39 years, I will not have a child in my house. Not officially anyway; and I’m going to have to get used to it. No more reminding them of things they need to do, or getting them out of bed in the mornings even though they set their alarm clocks. No more “Dad, can you take me here or there” or lately, “Dad, can I use the car?” No more of their clothes in the bathroom or the shower left dripping. No more complaining about what’s for dinner or asking to borrow enough money to get a burger. No more complaining about something one of their friends said or did, but defending them if I say something even slightly negative about them. No more of them yelling from the top of the stairs or talking too softly when they’re right next to me. No more staying awake until they’re home or we at least hear from them and know they’re somewhere save. But there will also be fewer times when they try not to smile, but not succeed, when I tell them my latest silly joke. No more of being able to see them every day and praise them when they do well or support or console them when things are a little tough. And most of all, no more hugs when I want one.

I suppose by some measurements I’ve not accomplished much in my life. I’m not rich or famous. I don’t live in the best house or drive the best car. I’ve not invented anything or cured anyone of some dreadful disease. My name isn't on any buildings or billboards.  I’m not the “go to guy” at work and sometimes I wonder if the priest at my church even knows my first name. There are a lot of positive things that I’m not and too many negative things that I am. But I have five of the best kids in the world, and that makes up for all those other things.  As the old saying goes, "for all that I've done wrong I must have done something right", just to have them call me Dad.

Sue and I will use part of that freed up time to spend more time together and that’s a good thing, but I am dreading my empty nest.